Rhythms of Grace

I’ve always believed that life runs in cycles – in seasons.   I heard a sermon once by a really, really good FEMALE speaker (:>) who compared different stages of life to the seasons we normally associate with nature.  Spring is a new beginning, Fall is the end of something, etc…  I truly bought into that philosophy.  Nichole Nordeman wrote a song about it (refer to an earlier post…)  I think there’s much truth to it still.  But lately I’ve come to realize that there are some other seasons too.

There’s that bizarre 63 degree day in the middle of December.  You know the one…where people are running around in shorts because they can – and it’s December – and it’s Indiana – and that’s just fun.  And then there’s the evening in early September, even before Labor Day, that frost is predicted.  People hurry around trying to cover the last of their petunias and begonias and geraniums because it isn’t quite time for mums just yet.  But let’s face it, sometimes nature throws a curve ball.  And sometimes so does life.

I suppose those unexpected days can be fun every now and then, but there comes a time when I’m ready for Fall.  I want to break out my sweaters & sweatshirts & shut all the windows.  When the temperature climbs back to 75 it ticks me off.  I’m ready to move on.

I was sitting among friends the other night listening to a great little concert in a cozy little setting & just thinking.  I was thinking about how life is standing still right now.  It isn’t moving forward and it isn’t moving back.  It’s standing still and it’s ticking me off.  But there I was, among friends, listening to a great little concert, and I was missing what IS happening because I was dwelling on what isn’t.  It occurred to me that those 63 degree December days are rare gifts.  They’re meant to be enjoyed, not cursed.  Eventually the snow will come & then the blooms & then the warmth and so on…  It’s a cycle – it’s just not always smooth.

I hope I don’t look back on this particular season of my life someday and regret all I missed.  I hope that instead I’ll look back on it and celebrate the lessons it taught.  I hope soon I will stop dwelling on what isn’t and enjoy all that is.

For those of you who don’t really think God has a sense of humor….this entry’s for you.

Yesterday I had to go to a family reunion.  This one was actually my step-mom’s side of the family.  She & my dad have been married for 16 years now & I love her & her kids.  I don’t really know the rest of her family though since I was grown & married myself before she came into the picture, so to be honest – I wasn’t particularly looking forward to it.  Add to that the fact that it had been a really rough week for reasons I can’t really go into on a blog – and well – you can probably imagine my attitude towards the whole thing.

So I pull up to the place & don’t really recognize many of the cars.  I even questioned for a minute if I had the right location.  Then I walk in and see one of my best friends in the hall.  I stood there for a second with this puzzled “what in the world are you doing here?” look on my face & then my dad walks around the corner.  Then my step-mom comes over & explains the connection.  Turns out my friend was there at the request of her grandma who just happens to be my step-mom’s first cousin.  We were both cracking up at the fact that we are cousins???? Seriously???  Grandma walks over & says “Do you two know each other?”  We both just kind of looked at each other for a second before we gave the simple answer “uh…yeah.”  Now – I’m not sure what my friend was thinking at that point, but had we had a little more time & had Grandma actually wanted to know the whole story, here is what I really would have liked to have said:

I totally believe that God drops people in our lives right when He knows we need them.  And on rare occasions, He gives us people that actually need us too at the same time.  This is how the story of my friend and I began.  I met her a few years ago when I was still on staff at the church.  She was directed to one of the teams I led as a potential member.  It took her a few months to commit to it, but I stuck with it.  I felt like she was worth the effort.  It didn’t take long for me to realize that she was one of the smartest people I’d ever met.  She was articulate, funny & well read.  I didn’t find out until later that she was also a brilliant writer.  She was new to the church scene and eager & willing to jump in and get her feet dirty.  At the same time though – she didn’t take things at face value.  She liked explanations.  She liked to understand why we were doing what we were doing.  Her questions made me think.  She challenged my ideas on more than one occasion and that made me like her even more.  She was honest to a fault and her integrity amazed me.  Our friendship wasn’t really instantaneous.  She’s a skeptic by nature & held me at arms length.  But over time we started to understand one another.  The turning point came the night she stayed after a team meeting to confess to me – as a church staff member – some of the problems she was having with Church.  Not our church in particular.  Just Church as a whole.  I listened to her as she so eloquently explained her observations in her own special raw & real way.  I think she thought she was going to shock me and disappoint me, but instead I started to tear up – because she was putting into words what had been in my heart for months.  Her struggles were the same as mine.  For the next few months we had conversations almost daily.  We broke open the scriptures together & disected them book by book.  We read books & prayed and emailed our thoughts back and forth almost compulsively.  We met regularly to compare notes & observations & experiences.  It was a healing time for me – a huge step forward in my relationship with God.  Eventually I changed jobs.  She weathered the rough transition along with me and supported me each step of the way.  Just two days before the reunion we were on the phone discussing another revelation from God.  We were just what each other needed just when we needed it.  God’s so smart.

So yeah Grandma.  We kinda know each other.

I told a mutual friend of ours this story and she said “How cool.  You were sisters before and now you’re cousins too.”

Here’s to you Anonymiss – my long lost cousin.  So glad I got to meet you.