I know it will sound melodramatic, but I experienced a defining moment this week. I attended a Christian Leadership Conference called Catalyst. But unlike in years past, I didn’t attend it as a member of a group or a church staff. Instead, I attended just because I wanted to along with my friend Bethany.
Although I’d become skeptical if I’d ever really hear from God again, I prayed that He would speak somehow through this conference – and He did.
He spoke through the words of Andy Stanley: “Do I live my life wondering who’s for me or against me, or do I live my life because of who I’m for.”
And through Jessica Jackley: “We need to view people as people, not as projects.”
And through Malcolm Gladwell: “Humility is the willingness to listen to others.”
He spoke through Bethany when she told me, “You need to take a month and fast from guilt.”
Through Tony Dungy: “I don’t want to just produce good football players, I want to contribute to producing good men.”
And then He started talking louder…
Through Rob Bell: “Sometimes God says, ‘Do this.” and then He says ‘now do this.’ and then He says ‘now do this.’” – which may not make much sense out of context, but it made all the sense in the world to me and started to help me with that fast a little.
Through Chuck Swindoll: “God takes full responsibility for the life fully devoted to Him.”
And then He started yelling:
Through the song lyrics from Aaron Keyes: “You’re not guilty anymore, you’re not filthy anymore, I love you, mercy is yours. You’re not broken anymore, you’re not captive anymore, I love you, mercy is yours.”
And finally through Louie Giglio: “Whatever we desire most is what we strive for. We should be striving for nothing more than simply seeing the Face of Christ.”
I know that these things seem random, but I have to document them because I don’t ever want to forget how clearly He spoke to me. I don’t ever want to forget the feeling of peace and freedom that I finally decided to embrace. I want to begin living my life with gratitude for all He has given and keeps giving me – both the easy and the difficult, because it’s all good. I want to quit worrying so much about what I should be doing and instead concentrate on the tape at the end of the race “the Face of Jesus”.
