Last weekend a very good friend commented to me that she’s pretty sure I have some anger issues. I think she was sort of kidding, but not completely. Regardless, it was a wake up call for me. Her comment stuck with me. And I realized that she was right.
I chewed on the comment for a couple of days, and then I read a blog post from one of my favorite authors. She committed to give up negative words for Lent. She said that she realized that she has been speaking lots of words that tear down rather than build up, and so she has decided that for the next forty days, if she can’t say something nice, she won’t say anything at all. This convicted me, and so I thought I’d give it a try myself. I made it about an hour before I screwed it up.
I went to church this morning only to find that the message was about – what else? Words. More conviction.
Do I have anger issues? Probably. I believe it’s human nature to become angry when things don’t go our way. In one particular area of my life, one that is near and dear to my heart, things have not gone my way. I have been frustrated and disappointed and confused. But most of all, I have been angry. And I have allowed that anger to manifest itself in my words and my attitude. I have torn down the people closest to me and probably others that I don’t even realize. I haven’t done much building up, and I haven’t even cared.
Today I am thankful for my God who knows every little ugly detail of my heart, and loves me anyway. I am thankful for my God who speaks to me in ways that I can’t ignore. I’m thankful for His patience and wisdom and grace.
“Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.” Matthew 12:34
Judging from the difficulty of just three days of trying to speak only positive words, my heart must be full of some ugly stuff. This morning I thought of all the people who give up chocolate or coffee or TV. They count the days until they can enjoy it again. My hope is that by the end of this season, I won’t want my mouth back. And my prayer is that my heart will be full of good stuff again.
wow, that’s inspiring!